Long Claws

when your best

friend’s long claws

need some

trimmin’

teach him

how to

claw the

cat tree

like a

woman

turn him into

your

personal

bartender

pouring

a

cold

tall

beer

this evenin’

(with squeezed lemon)

up until

closin’ time

(you know when that is. It’s when

you fall asleep on the pool table, silly!)

before that

demon

of an

undependable

seductive

vampire

willy nilly

keeps

on

laughing at you

hanging

around

your favorite

recliner chair

waiting until you

pass out

in

marked

drunkenness

stealthily

sneaking up

behind

your chair

profusely

sucking

quickened

thinning

blood

from your

skinny weasely

neck!

(vampires make the

lousiest bartenders ever!

And, how would I ever know? You’d have to

ask my dog Bubba. But, he’d never tell

because he’s too busy bitin’ and a smellin’…)

are we gellin’?

better

turn your cat into

the

‘watch dog’

of your dreams

barking at that

murderous red moon

making a scene

ruthlessly hunting

down

that Baskerville

bound

werewolf

hound

who’s been

making

you toss and turn

in your

phantom

bed

on that

miserable

sleepless

lonesome

All Hallows’ Eve!

 

 

 

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About Steven Humphreys

I live in 'sunny' California with my lovely wife, three wonderful cats and very handsome dog! I write a lot these days about different subjects I have a 'heartfelt and deep-seated' interest in. I surely hope you will find my articles 'interesting and informative' as well. I sincerely appreciate your interest and you are welcome to visit here as often as you'd like. You can read more 'about me' within this site. Thank you for visiting!
This entry was posted in Humor, Weirdness and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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