The Man Club

Welcome to the Man Club;

that no holds barred psyche

where no wimp has gone before.

There is no leader but yourself

on a path no one has travelled.

It’s not easy being man.

No, not at all.

It might seem so,

because women I am not with now

had frequently told me how

easy it was to be a man,

and because of that, they’d like

to be one, too.

But, unfortunately, you don’t know how

easy it is until you are born man.

My God, does any man have a clue

what he’s in for when

he marries one of those

woman people?

One thing I can say for sure;

he wouldn’t grow without

the wife and the kids

nagging and badgering

him to death…

Of course, no matter what they say,

no woman can be transformed into a male

through an operation.

(No hate mail, please!)

This is something which is self evident to me.

That’s all.

It’s a lonely job being man.

No sympathy.

No boo hoo’s.

All men know this.

All men are against themselves.

Going forward…

There’s no formal schooling

only

the hard knocks

of life.

There’s no rites of passage

except beer, sex,

and rock n’ roll.

(Pretty pathetic pigeon holed schooling if you ask me.)

I didn’t say it wasn’t fun.

But, that was fifty years ago.

It would surely kill me now.

If I had any hankering left to do so.

(I guess I’m lucky I’m not as handsome as I used to be. Somehow, when you grow up, repeating wouldn’t be as fun. I’d have to tell you all about it

if I got another stab at it.)

Yet, All that doesn’t make you wise

only

deceptively holds your hand until you grow

old.

And, deserts you to those who

are young, naïve, and ignorant.

Welcome to the man club,

my dear friend,

because it’s now your deal

SON;

passed onto you

as a torch

you inherited

as you race around in circles

on that runner’s track

biding time

(sitting on the dock of the bay.)

You got handed a raw deal

whether you like it or not

from those old geezers before you

that screwed the whole world up

and dropped it in the innocent unknowing

grandbaby’s lap

like a hot potato

because they were too

busy providing what

grandmother wanted

to make her happy

and secure.

(she cracked the whip on poor old grandpa

all those years until he shriveled up and died. Was she as sweet as we thought?

You’d have to ask granddad that. Well you can’t. He’s gone.

She seems to be doing just fine without the old fart, doing whatever it is old ladies do. They always seem to manage to get by. Don’t worry gramps, she’ll be following you as statistics show in about ten more years. You’re not off the hook yet, fella! She’s comin’ to get ya’.)

All those grandpas got off the hook

by dying!

Maybe, maybe not…

That’s how everyone does it.

The buck gets passed, and then

they die.

I guess we’ll all get off the hook, someday.

Isn’t it nice knowing we can pass the buck, too?

God save your soul

you poor S.O.B.!

They’ll all tell you how great you were

and tip their hats to you

only when you’re dead and gone…

But,

When all the S__T comes down,

who do they run to?

they come to you and me because we know what

to do.

We’re the men.

I’m the man.

You’re the man.

How lucky are we?

Aren’t we?

We fear no one.

Well, unless we’re chicken.

We can just fake it and act like

we are brave…

You can sign up for actor’s school and learn

and even get paid for lying.

They call that acting.

It’s lying.

Strap on your seat belt before you

go on that ride

because as soon as you turn your head

someone’s goanna put a rope around your neck

and you’ll be a swingin’

from the highest limb

because you messed up

and weren’t politically correct

with those words which

blurted out of your mouth

when you got pissed off.

Sign up for that man school

thing

where you have no model

to make yourself over with

except those violent, sexual, one dimensional male

stereotypes in the movies

who aren’t real anyway.

It’s all acting man!

It’s not real.

Of course, you knew that.

They are nothing we should be inspired to

be like?

Right?

Clint’s cool.

They aren’t that way in real life.

(Except for Clint, of course.)

Maybe, they have a feminine side.

Maybe, even a bit more,

if you know what I mean…

(I don’t mean Clint.)

There are the real men who

can beat the piss out of someone

and make another man their bitch!

(One last time; again, not Clint.)

I think a lot of them are already in prison

recruiting their fresh new bitches every day.

Therefore,

Keep your nose clean so

you don’t have to face all those

so called

hard assed real men in the pen!

But, what about becoming wise?

Being compassionate?

Doing the right thing?

I don’t think that’s taught.

(at least, not in prison.)

You can’t act that.

It has to be you.

It can’t be contrived.

There’s no school for that.

Does human kindness count these days

or is it just money and fame and material possessions?

(yet, you have to pay the bills. And, driving junky looking

cars, and eating crappy meals, and living in a crumby neighborhood, sucks!)

Hum…

How bout’

Helping someone without expecting

something in return?

How about helping someone in some small way

and they never know who it was who helped them?

Giving guidance?

Insight?

Knowledge?

Interesting notions…

Was all that just for Jesus and Buddha to do?

Is it Time to man-up and board up

all that anger inside until it festers

and the dam breaks and floods the valley

and drowns everyone below?

What’s the alternative?

Be yourself,

say and do what you want

as long as

it

doesn’t hurt anyone-

(me included.)

It will show me what a nice person you are

and that the world is a better place

than I thought it was.

Some men want to join the

woman club

with all the fringe benefits,

thereof.

They think being woman is the easy way

out…

But, no, not me.

I was born male.

Eternally male.

No one asked me.

I never want to be woman and

know what it’s like being one.

I’m Stuck in that man fraternity.

(Never tire watching reruns of

Clint’s old movies.)

That’s just the way it is.

Some things you

better get your

mind right to

 get used to.

Pass it on…

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About Steven Humphreys

I live in sunny California with my beautiful wife, three wonderful cats and very handsome dog! I write a lot these days about different subjects I hope you will find interesting and informative. Thanks for your interest. Read more 'about me' on this site. Thanks for visiting!
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