The Hobo’s Dog

Have you figured out yet

that all along, the

problem

was that

goddamned ego?

Yes, who doesn’t want to be one of the rich and famous?

I don’t see why not…

They are some of the unhappiest and loneliest people

in the world who have sold their souls

for the sake of fame and money.

I guess, We could join in their misery

and roll around drunken on their

floors on top all that money

and throw it up in the air

and watch it float down

like paper airplanes

and poke us in the

eyes.

What if you found out that being a success was a

mental fabrication

 dreamt up by

someone who thought they

knew what was good for us

more than we do and that they

didn’t even follow their own preaching

because they didn’t know what the hell they

were talking about in the first place?

Well, it is

a bunch of bull,

but it would help

pay

all your future hospital bills

for drug and alcohol addition

when

success and that lonely at the top

crap makes you

one sad guy.

If we were both clowns, would you be

flattered if

some innocent child

wanted to be like us?

I mean,

would you walk straight over to me and agree

to wipe each other’s eyes with a

tissue?

Would we be proud to teach this kid how to become a

clown and smile when they wanted nothing but to cry?

Remember when you said to me

“I missed my mark in life!”

Well, Boo Hoo for you!

I’m so sorry you didn’t get that glorious Clown job

you always wanted in the Circus

that you studied four years for at the

Clown training University!

It’s a pity they didn’t hand out that

official Clown diploma they promised you

because they’re the ones who taught

you how to not think for yourself anymore

 by taking all your marbles away

and now you only think linear

like a rat in a maze!

Unlucky, you and I got those degrading mindless jobs

where we made Widgets for the masses

while we doodled on paper sitting at an office desk

facing strangers drawing a caricature

of our horse’s ass boss.

then,

we opened a secret drawer

in our desk where

we hid our trusty whiskey bottle

and swigged a strong shot

when no one was looking

at our going nowhere job.

And, I’m supposed to cry for you now?

Or, maybe next morning for myself

and tearfully pour you a cup of hot green Japanese tea

and become your

trusty servant on my knees

groveling at your feet

looking at all those holes in your socks

seeing all your toes wiggle

because you want me to adore your

newfound stardom

maybe even

become your own

personal guru

in a white flowing robe

and piles high turban on

my balding head

giving you

half-baked

life coaching advice

you think you’re goanna

need to get

you through your

miserable day?

I will tell you that you are

one of the lucky ones

 if you happened to miss your mark in life.

You should be grateful…

Why, you ask?

Because it makes you examine

your unexamined life.

Yet, at the same time, In the grand scheme of things, you nor I

are likely not that important to the continued running

of the entire universe; and frankly, I’m sorry to say

we are both

EXPENDABLE.

God, does that hurt

my huge aching ego.

Because,

It doesn’t matter how you die.

It doesn’t matter when you die.

But, it matters to no end

to that beautiful soul hidden somewhere deep

within you

how you’d lived your life.

Therefore…

Just make sure you screw up a lot,

fall down on your face,

work in a job you hate,

say all the wrong stupid things,

hurt a lot of people,

be holier than thou,

be a fool,

be trendy and

read the latest fashion magazine,

keep thinkin’ you’re really a hot item,

act like a rock star, an actor, or a business mogul,

keep that chip on your shoulder,

lose all your money through divorce,

have your family abandon and betray you,

end up alone with no one,

smoke a lot of cigarettes,

continue being an A_____E to everybody with a good heart

except to the other A______S who really deserve to be

F____D around and treated like
S__T,

hang around a bunch of losers

and users who have been posing as your truest friends

but are in fact traitors who would jump at the chance to stab you in your back

in a split second

to steal five bucks out of your wallet

while you drank yourself under the table as frequently

as possible

while you were in a bar trying to pick up

on all those cute young chicks

who only rolled their eyes

behind your back

in disgust

because you are twenty years

their senior

looking much

like a dirty old frump,

then look back at all those wasted years

you spent in vain

before we got ugly

blow drying that hair

that used to be there

splashing on that

obnoxious cologne

that always makes everyone puke in the

entire room,

realizing you don’t

admire what you

see in

the mirror

anymore.

Then, you might begin to learn a lot

from a few hard karmic lessons

and become someone

who regrets

what he’s proud of

admitting

nothing in the public eye.

Our jobs are our own custom-made

façade

we wear as comedy/tragedy masks

allowing those twisted faces of death to define us.

What a damned pity

we are so petty

and small-minded.

But, one day you found out your job didn’t define you

and you woke up from that nightmare

with a sweaty brow.

Let me tell you something I have learned.

It isn’t the money.

It isn’t the fame.

All that we were told we should do and become and how we should act

may very well strengthen the soul

that has many more than nine lives

over our now decrepit bodies

because you can’t quite put a handle on all that

and take it with you

when you start teasing the Hobo’s dog.

He’ll bite the s__t out of your leg

and break an old tooth off

that will fester

and

make your leg

fall off,

then he’ll bite you on your left ass

cheek

and then you’ll have to

tuck a pillow under it

to sit on

your chair

to eat oatmeal because

you can’t keep solid

food down anymore,

cause’

that ego that failed you so

miserably in life

was

sitting on the other end

watching all your escapades like

an old fashioned TV soap opera, laughing

at you when you became

nothing but a paid actor.

It was that very thing

that got everything going

in the wrong

direction

in the first place

a long, long time

ago.

and, when that day came

you felt that emptiness

cause’ you thought

you finally made it to the

big time,

you began to

wonder

why you worked so damned hard

receiving so damned little

in return for all your

toil

and you felt so betrayed and empty

and alone

in a society that always told you

that this was the cobblestone road to

happiness and that you’d look

back someday and

discover all you did

was

meaningful.

and, you started thinking

about

 why

you did

what you did

and for whom

you did it for

and then,

you realized they

pulled the wool over

your eyes

because the fact is that

 you are

never rewarded

for simply being

YOU

and, always generously

compensated

for being phony

telling people

what they want

to hear

thereby

betraying your heart of hearts

withholding those sacred words

aching in your gut

you always knew

was your duty

to utter,

STILL…

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About Steven Humphreys

I live in sunny California with my beautiful wife, three wonderful cats and very handsome dog! I write a lot these days about different subjects I hope you will find interesting and informative. Thanks for your interest. Read more 'about me' on this site. Thanks for visiting!
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