I Just had to Write this one

You know I just had to write this one

If you have been reading me

you probably figured out I’m not necessarily

politically correct

good, bad, or indifferent,

that’s just how those cards landed

but, it goes even further than that…

I don’t mind admitting my failings

I don’t do it for just anyone

I especially don’t want to tell someone

known to push it in my face

you know the kind

they don’t understand much

they boast a lot

and think they are superior

we don’t like them,

do we?

we like us, instead

we are the sensitive ones

who understand…

but, we have to live with those jerks

more often than not

these kinds of idiots

are our bosses

and joe blow

who’s apt to kill you

in road rage on the freeway

and smash your face in

or some rude employee

working in customer service

who puts you on hold

and then you hear a hang up tone instead

you know what I mean…

the world is full of them

but, there’s not enough of us

that’s life

that’s how it will always be

I guess we better get used to it

ANYWAY

I haven’t been good at marriage

more than a total failure at the thing

Now, you can count all the years I’ve been married

scattered amongst FOUR marriages under my belt

and it comes to a total to about

26 years…

so, what have I learned?

it doesn’t even take that long to earn your

PhD

so, I must have learned a lot,

right?

It started a long time ago with old MOM and DAD

like it does for so many of us poor abused souls

they were largely responsible for my underachievement with women

and my utter lack of confidence

they taught me all the wrong ways to perceive women

and myself

my father was always absent and detached

my mother abused me emotionally, mentally, and physically

as soon as I reached puberty

yet, you can’t blame one or both of them forever

that keeps you stuck

being the powerless victim

maybe, when a child you can blame them for how you are

but, we do grow up

I guess some never do

you can blame others for your miserable self

but, that doesn’t do us any good

because I have decided for me, that the responsibility for how I turned out has to end up in my own lap

maturity is something that helps rather than hinders

our evolvement…

I have resolved much in myself through living and reflection

but, fortunately I am still messed up just enough so I still have the motivation to write

HA!

just a joke

to the writer in me

and between us writers

what I’ve learned is

 real confidence comes to those who accept themselves right now

just the way they are, good or bad

perfect or imperfect

money or no money

educated or not

with somebody

or alone

any nationality

sexuality

whatever

I am not a woman hater

although, I thought I was at one time

I didn’t look highly upon women as a whole

I judged them as all the same

fitting in the same mold

which wasn’t true

I was always looking for a mother in women

and a father in men

But, since I married so many of them

it looks like I do love women, afterall

I just hadn’t developed the knack for getting along with them

we are so different

maybe, it’s the genes and hormones

yet, we have many similarities

and stuff in common than not

I have learned more to watch what I say

but not be silent

and speak my mind

even if there is no agreement

and be compassionate

I have learned when to be quiet

but not as quiet as some men

who never speak

who just smile

and let their wives do all the talking

there’s something wrong with that

I have learned

to not take what she says literally

because she is venting

guys take words women say literally

it’s best not to do that all the time

we have to figure out which words they actually mean

and decipher them

I am getting more of the feel of how to deal with my women

and, not…

sometimes it’s not very fun

and, it tries my soul

and I want to get in my truck

take my dog and cat

and run away for good

because I can’t seem to be able to reason with her

and we argue about this and that

and I think we’ll be in divorce court

because I mess up a lot at it

yet, it makes me grow

into the kind of man I like to be around

who’s patient

and forgiving

and tolerant

almost beyond his capability to do so, and to his breaking point…

I have become the father I never had

and, I love the mother who loves her children

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About Steven Humphreys

I live in sunny California with my beautiful wife, three wonderful cats and very handsome dog! I write a lot these days about different subjects I hope you will find interesting and informative. Thanks for your interest. Read more 'about me' on this site. Thanks for visiting!
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