Night Blooming Jasmine
Look at what I just saw deep down in that dark cavern!
It has two heads!
Wait, it’s dark!
I can’t really see it too good
But, that thing is moving
It’s fluttering it’s wings
Vampires have wings?
I never saw those in the movies
Well, they sure have teeth, don’t they!
Oh, my God, it’s getting up
Where’s my flashlight!
Oh s__t, here it comes!
Now wait a minute Mr. Vampire, what’s the deal here!
Just hold on now…
Keep your distance!
I’m warning you!
How can I fight a Vampire?
No human can…
What are you asking me?
You’ve got nerve!
I can’t go for that!
No, you can’t have just a little sip of my blood!
You won’t take just a little, you’ll suck every Goddamned drop out of me!
Do you think I’m crazy and goanna fall for that trick of yours?
That trick is as old as Vampires themselves
What do you mean, I don’t trust you?
Why the heck would I be that foolish and would?
Let’s take a closer look at you
Hey, you’re not a Dude!
What is this!
You mean, they have Genders?
Now, I’ve seen it all!
Yes, I’m Single. How does that make a Diff?
You want a little blood.
I have a few quarts.
I won’t even feel a prick because your teeth are so sharp!
Wait one minute!
Don’t try to take advantage of me with your subtle charms
Don’t try to manipulate my feelings
Of course, you are beautiful
But, I don’t know you or your intentions, do I?
Yes, I’m a man
What do you mean, I’m a Chicken!
No one gets away with that without a black eye!
Well, maybe a woman does
Well, I guess I am a BIG CHICKEN
Promise not to tell anyone
Oh, it will be our secret?
What do you mean that’s a wives tale people turn into Vampires once bitten?
You mean that’s not true at all?
What happens if I bite you?
You mean, I would turn into one for sure that way?
Well, I surely wouldn’t want to do that. I was joking anyway.
It’s No laughing matter?
That’s me I guess, joking around when it’s inappropriate
Can I think about this so called pin prick on my neck you want to give me for a couple days?
No. You mean it has to be now or never?
Is never OK with you?
I guess we have a check mate of sorts, don’t we?
Oh, you could over power me?
Vampires are ten times stronger than a human?
Oh, you mean the women vampires are even stronger than the men?
So, you say it’s best I volunteer giving blood?
You mean like a blood donor?
Is this a worthy cause?
Of course you’d say that. What answer did I expect other than that?
You mean, it will save your life?
You think I’m handsome?
Boy, this is a dirty trick!
Feed my Ego to get what you want
Well, that won’t work!
How about if I get to know you first?
You are making the move on me way too fast!
Slow it down, way down girl
How about a rain check?
Can I say NO, gracefully?
I need more time
I don’t want to be tricked into becoming like you
What do you mean it’s not too bad?
I don’t want to sleep in a casket in the daylight!
It’s comfortable, you say
I don’t know about that
How could it be cushy in there?
Wait, the sun is rising!
We must have been talking for hours
Where’d the time go?
Look at all those colors in the clouds!
The Reds and the Yellows and the Purple!
You mean, you haven’t seen the sunrise in five hundred years?
See it rise above that tree over there?
So, you lost your thirst?
Well, I didn’t
That was my beer, dear!
Glug, Glug, Glug!
I hope you don’t drink blood like that
It wouldn’t be civilized
It wouldn’t be lady like
You know, maybe we should get to know each other better before anything else develops
It’s best not to jump into things too quickly
The divorce rate is rising
By the way, you aren’t married are you?
You mean you outlived him by about two hundred years?
Oh, you’re a grieving Widow?
You mean, Black Widow?
No? You didn’t drink from him?
Oh, of course, he died of natural causes
He lived a long life
Did he share his blood with you when you couldn’t find a stranger?
No? Not at all?
Oh, he would have turned into one of you if he let you?
He didn’t want to live forever?
You stood by him till the end?
You were a faithful wife?
Sure, I believe you
Why wouldn’t I
I mean, I don’t know you
How would I verify that fact?
I guess I’ll take that on faith
What else can I do?
What kind of blood do you feed on?
Oh, just human?
No Cats, Dogs, or Rats?
I should’ve known…
So, what do we do now?
Please, excuse me. Glug, Glug, Glug, BURP! BELCH!
Excuse my bad manners
Oh, I’m forgiven
You have a mysterious aura about you
Oh, you come alive at night?
You have a scent
What’s that perfume you’re wearing?
Where did you buy it?
What do you mean they don’t sell it anywhere?
You mean that’s your natural scent?
Boy, women would love to know your secret!
You better bottle that stuff up and sell it to them!
You’d be a millionaire!
Oh, it’s not money you seek, or fame and fortune?
Oh, I know… it’s blood you want. Mine? Right?
Gee, that fragrance is addicting
You smell so sweet!
You are trying to put me under a spell aren’t you?
A favorite Vampire trick!
What’s your name?
Wait! Your feet are coming up off the ground. You mean, you float, too!
Maybe, you’re an Angel?
No. I didn’t think so.
Are you a Devil?
What do you mean that’s a fairy tale!
That’s what they always taught in the movies
So, you can’t always believe what you’re told
Yeah, that’s kind a like life, I guess… That’s how it goes…
So, what do they call you?
I mean, what’s your name?
Oh, you’re Mexican?
Well, that’s what you do for a living
But, you don’t have a name?
Boy, here she comes walking over to me
This time, it doesn’t look like she’s goanna stop until she gets what she wants
I think I’m in big trouble now…
I think I’m a goner
Well, if I do have to go
Maybe, this is the least painless
I guess that didn’t hurt much
I don’t feel any different
I’ll just have to wait and see what happens
I guess she owns my ass now!
Or, more accurately, my very SOUL!
If I told someone
They wouldn’t believe me
They’d say I was NUTS!
Wait one minute!
Why am I having such a craving for a very rare cut of steak?
Great! It’s kicking in sooner than I thought
I guess I wasn’t exempt…
I knew what was goanna happen
Now what do I do?
Oh, wait, I’ll ask Vampiro over there
Hey, La Flor! What do I do now?
Do, as you were reborn to do!
That’s just Wonderful!
I’m now a Vampire!
Wait till I tell my MOM and DAD!
They will probably be the only ones who’d believe me in the entire world…
Well, you are what you are
And, people don’t change
Hey, how long will I live?
You mean, I’ll never die?
Well, that’s sort of cool, I guess…
But, how am I going to get up in the morning and go to work?
Dress code won’t allow for me to wear a dark hood every day
They wouldn’t go for that!
They’d think I was trying to make some kind of fashion statement!
Oh, yeah, I forgot, I don’t need money now
I don’t need things
Yeah, right, I don’t need to go to the grocery store, anymore
I guess it’s like living on a budget
I don’t have to worry about road rage, anymore!
No more driving on the FREEWAYS getting the finger from all those pissed off people!
Won’t miss that!
Don’t have to go to the bathroom, either?
Boy, this is looking better all the time!
Let’s add this all up!
Don’t have to eat…
Never get sick…
No more Diarrhea attacks…
No more Doctor checkups…
No more Flu shots…
Don’t need a Car…
Can stay up all night and watch TV…
Can drink all the Beer I want without throwing up…
No more hangovers…
No Woman can break my heart anymore!
I only break theirs!
This is looking GOOD!
Where do I sign up?
Oh, sorry, you already signed me up
Just joking, honey pie…
I know, I know…
So, You just wanted to be sure I was into long term committed relationships?
I guess it looks like I’m yours FOREVER
And, I really mean that, baby!
Can’t get more Romantic that, girl!